Tribute to Malcolm Hockett, 1947 - 2026

I am sure I will be echoing the words and thoughts of most people here when I recall my memories of Malcolm, or as I have called him for the last 25 years; Dad. His welcoming nature made it very easy to slot in with the Hockett family and I am sure many here will agree, you never felt alone or left out when Dad was in the room. I have many fond memories of Dad. As with most men the strongest connections are made while working on something together, cooking meat on a BBQ or sitting around a table with a drink in hand. All of the above we have done together on many occasions. Malcolm was always there to help when we needed him, whether it was changing a radiator or building a chicken coop, he would lend a hand with a smile on his face. After every successful task was completed, we would enjoy a good ale, a bottle of red wine or a glass of whiskey; sometimes all 3; and sometimes we didn’t even need to start with the task. When mum and Dad used to visit us in Australia they would go out shopping every day and buy that evening’s dinner. Often that would consist of huge T’bone steaks that we would cook together on the BBQ with an ale in hand. We would the sit around the table and enjoy our meal with a bottle or two of red, then when all of the tidying up was complete, we might have a glass or to of whiskey. This sounds lovely and it truly was, but every day for 6 weeks when you have to get up at 6am for work!! It got hard to keep up. However, when Dad would wave a bottle of scotch at me and exclaim with his mischievous smirk “time for a nightcap?” it was impossible for me to say no. You were a great man in every aspect of your life and will be truly missed by all that knew you. Rest well, your earnt it.

Thank you all for helping us to celebrate our Dad, Malcolm, today. There is not enough time in the day for me to express the great man our dad was, but if you’re here, then you knew him, and if you knew him, you know that he was an extraordinary man who acted like an ordinary one. Today would have been his 79th birthday, so all the more reason to celebrate the fantastic man he was and what a wonderful life he had. He was an amazing Husband, Dad, Grandpa, Brother, Uncle, and Friend - He loved so fully and is loved by so many. He had a great sense of humour - he was patient, kind, supportive and always seemed to have a dry comment at just the right moment. There are no words to express his influence on mine and Justine’s lives, or on those around him. He was always willing to help, to give advice, to volunteer to help - the first to show up and last to leave. Dad was our best friend and hero and the strongest man we know - To say he was a good man would be an understatement. There was never a time when we couldn’t go to Dad for help and not come away with a new perspective, and life advice that made us better people - but that's who our dad was, a compassionate, honest person, who taught us to always learn something new, to always aim to better ourselves every day. His devotion to our Mum for over 63 years (57 years of those married) never wavered. From the moment they met at a dance in the early 1960’s (though Mum went with a different Malcolm), he devoted himself to protecting and caring for her. Ironically, he kept cycling around to see her and asking her to go boating in Epping, to which Mum refused as she did not like boats. Only when they were married to purchase a boat and become a member of the Island Yacht Club. But we are glad his persistence paid off. Something so very precious. That devotion then encompassed Justine and me, and then his grandchildren. When we think of our Dad, all we have are warm and welcoming memories. Although we were his girls, Justine and I were never girly girls, whether it was helping him erect and paint the fence at Lede Road, moving tons of earth to level the garden, concreting the driveway or painting his beloved boat Margaret. We both have such fond memories of our family holidays to Wales, Scotland and the Lake District. Long car journeys filled with lots of singing to Barry Manilow, Barbara Streisand, Neil Diamond and Billy Fury. Long walks in our new walking boots that we got each year - up Snowdon, Helvellyn or Scaffel Pike, often in the Lakes, finishing with fishing for trout in Ullswater. Dad was not only dedicated to his family, but his work was a huge part of his life. He worked at Rowe and Maw for some 39 years. Justine and I spent many a time with him at his office, either typing at his secretary's desk and listening to his precise dictation or causing mayhem with the photocopier. It was wonderful just to be near him. We have had so many wonderful messages telling us what a superb mentor and knowledgeable teacher he was. Although he loved his work and was very conscientious, it is clear he had a distinct liking for practical jokes around the office - there are many stories, but we know he did once lock a senior partner in their office by removing the bar from their door handle and enjoyed tormenting the secretaries with his elastic band flicking. Be it smuggling hole punches into bags and umbrellas or playing havoc with a newlywed couple with a smelly fish, he made what could have been a stuffy solicitor's office a fun place to work. He was well respected both within the firm and amongst the legal community, not bad for a humble solicitor's managing clerk; in fact, when he retired, there were Judges, Masters and Barristers there to wish him well. An old school lawyer, with a vast knowledge of legal procedure and rules, in particular the Solicitors' bible - the white book. We haven’t found one yet, but we are sure that on his computer or laptop somewhere, there is going to be a template for a complaint letter together with a long list of company CEO’s addresses. In his personal life, he was just as dedicated. A member of the Island Yacht Club for many years, boats were his way of relaxing. Again, Mum, Justine and I have fond memories of sailing down the Medway, up to St Katherines Dock, fishing with Ray (Justine and I were tasked with watching the end of the rods to see if they had a bite), or sailing out into the estuary to watch the fireworks at Southend. From early on, Dad was heavily involved - his firework displays at the Club’s site in Wall Road were legendary (he was secretly a pyramaniac). He used his legal skills along the way to help the Club, and I am sure they are going to miss his administrative skills as assistant Treasurer. Dad also loved gardening both at home and for a time following his retirement at his allotment. Again, his knowledge on the subject was extensive, and I know Justine (who has inherited his gardening skills) will miss not being able to talk to him about the plants and vegetables she wants to grow. He often indulged my dear sister’s love of animals, be it a sick bird, hamster or even her beloved slow worm - Fred (later, who we discovered was Freda) - who travelled with us all the way back from Scotland. If something meant something to us, then it meant something to him. Gardening also included his darling fish - he loved them dearly and know they came to the surface when he drew near to feed them and sit quietly just watching them. Dad was not a sit behind a desk man, he could put his mind to anything - be that gardening, electrics, plumbing. He was our go-to if we were ever in trouble with things around the house - he literally was our encyclopedia of anything and everything. After Justine and her family moved to Australia in 2008, Mum and Dad would visit every year for about eight weeks, splitting their time between Australia and New Zealand. He was not keen on the Australian heat, but had his standard uniform - checked shirt, socks pulled right up, bucket-style hat and his camera over his shoulder - a proper tourist. Often going to pick up fish and chips for them all dressed this way - the boys' friends once spotted him and commented they had seen Colonel Sanders. Whilst with them, Mum and Dad would often shop for dinners - generally Dad choosing a T-Bone steak which he would BBQ with Kieron whilst sharing a beer. When my family stayed in the UK, while David worked in Abu Dhabi, again Dad was there, always supportive and helping to navigate any issues that arose for me and joining us for visits out there and keeping the children entertained in the pool - just like the fabulous grandfather he was. For Justine and I he was a calm, considered man who never once raised his voice to us. He welcomed David and Kieron as though they were his own sons. Always there to assist with any DIY tasks when needed. He doted on his grandchildren and talked about them all with such pride. For Mum - he showed a love that never faltered. He was her ultimate protector; he would do anything for her. Dad - rest easy, Justine and I will continue to protect and care for her - you need not worry. You will be truly missed by all who knew you. We are all heartbroken that you have left us, but we will keep you in our hearts and memories always. You live on through us all, and that will be your legacy. In the words of your much-loved Billy Fury, we will live our whole lives through living in our thoughts of you. Rest in peace Dad, Malcolm. We known you loved us but we love you so so much more.

CHARLOTTE It’s hard to believe I’m standing here saying goodbye. You were such a steady part of my life, I thought you would always be there. When I think of you, the memories come quietly and all at once. These are not just mine, but also those of my siblings Luke and Chloe, and my cousins Ryan and Mitchal. We remember Friday nights – fish and chips with Grandma. Nothing fancy, just time together, and that was always enough. I remember you joking that my wedding meant you’d miss your fish and chips. We remember Smarties – your favourite – even when Chloe had licked them first, and cornflake cakes lovingly made for your birthday. Those small treats meant so much to you, especially when they came from your grandchildren. Although you enjoyed these occasional sweet treats, you also loved some rather interesting foods. Ryan remembers a time when he and Mitchal joked about how gross it would be to eat snails. Grandpa called their bluff, went straight to the deep freezer, and pulled out garlic snails. The boys bravely ate them and said they were delicious – though I’m not sure they meant it. Grandpa loved hosting family gatherings at his and Grandma’s house, even setting up a gazebo, because he loved having everyone he cared about together in one place. We think of Sundays: a roast dinner, a glass of wine, family gathered around the table, and you sitting there – content, comfortable, home. The roast was always followed by dessert. First it was pigs-in-mud ice cream, before it was discontinued, and then smartie ice cream, strudel, angel delight and jelly. Chloe always insisted on being the one to stick her finger in the jelly. I don’t remember what we were laughing about that day, only that Chloe laughed so hard she spat jelly all over the table – and we all laughed even more. We remember watching you feed the fish – so patient, so gentle, never in a rush. You loved the calm of it, just as you loved your garden and allotment, taking time and care to tend to your vegetables that somehow fed out family and half of Canvey. Grandpa didn’t love many animals, but he loved his fish and Ryan and Mitchal’s chickens in Australia. Grandpa and Ryan built their first chicken coop together, and after school, the boys always knew where to find him – sitting outside, watching the chickens, V8 tomato juice in hand, eager to hear about their day and tell them everything the chickens had been up to whilst they were gone. Grandpa loved to travel to Australia and New Zealand and also joined the Rogers on their many trip to Abu Dhabi. He loved spending precious time with us, playing in the pool and showing us this cool water trick he did to splash us with. I personally remember our trips to Scotland – the long journeys, the laughter, the fun we shared, how safe I felt knowing you were nearby. And yes, I will still claim I’m the favourite grandchild because I got to go to Scotland with you all on my own! He loved being a part of our everyday lives – picking us up or taking us to school, attending dance shows and school activities, having us over for sleepovers, and always showing up. He loved sharing in our interests, as Luke remembers trips to Goodwood, watching the races, meeting the drivers and eating the Skoda stand clean of the biscuits they were giving out. Not only did Grandpa have an impact on us as grandchildren, but we are lucky enough that he got to spend time with some of our partners. On a visit to Australia, one night Mitchal’s partner Niamh came over for dinner, and Grandpa had organised a roast chicken cooked in a bag. Mitchal remembers him asking Niamh “Do you like the chicken?” and Niamh replying, “It’s delicious”. From that moment on, Grandpa made a point of cooking it whenever Niamh came over, always saying “We’re having your favourite tonight”, to which Niamh and Mitchal would just smile at each other. On another visit to Australia, Ryan remembers Grandpa saying to him “One day you’ll come home from school and you’ll tell me that that Chloe you’re always talking about is your girlfriend”. Grandpa picked Ryan and Chloe up from their first date. 10 years later, and Chloe has given birth last Thursday to their first child, Wesley and they are getting married at the end of the year. Chloe remembers Grandpa as someone who always made her feel welcome and part of the family from day one. My husband, Jim, also always felt welcomed into the family with open arms by Grandpa. He loved sitting with him at family gatherings, sharing long conversations over a beer and also preparing the runner beans from the allotment for dinner. I remember how his face lit up, embracing us both at our wedding, absolutely pleased as punch for you. Jim and I are extremely lucky that you were able to meet our daughter Matilda, and I will never forget that moment in the hospital where she gently placed her hand on top of yours. These memories may seem ordinary, but to us they are everything. They are proof of a life filled with love. When we think about all of these moments together, we realise they all share the same thing, Grandpa’s way of caring for the people he loved. Whether it was tending to his vegetables, cooking for a house full of family, picking us up from school, or remembering something small that made someone feel special, he showed his love through his effort and thoughtfulness. He made people feel welcome, looked after, and at home. We wish we had more time – more conversations, more ordinary days, more time watching us grow up and also to be a Great Grandpa. But you gave us enough to last a lifetime. We will miss you more than words can ever express. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for being you. Rest peacefully, Gpa. You will always live on in our hearts.

Malcolm was always very kind and gentle and very good company. Whenever we visited he was the superb host, making sure everyone had everything they wanted. He took great pride in his beautiful garden and fish pond. He adored his family and was so proud of them. Malcolm and Chris have been a match made in heaven and have loved each other forever. Such a beautiful couple. Malcolm worked very hard to become a solicitor and his mum and dad Hilda and Ken were very proud of him.